Category: Mental Health Page 18 of 23

It’s no secret that insurance coverage for mental health issues is severely lacking.  Most people understand that there are expenses that come with therapy and seeing a psychiatrist whether they have insurance or not. Even with insurance coverage, there is usually a co-pay or a deductible that goes along with it. When you go regularly, or have more than one family member who is in treatment, these co-pays can really add up! Plus, finding a psychiatrist that takes insurance is getting more and more difficult. Many people have to find a way to pay out of pocket which usually means they won’t be able to be seen as often as they need. 

However, there are many other expenses that most of society is not aware of or realize. Today I wanted to share some of the annoying hidden expenses that can come with mental illness. These are items that we discovered over the years .Then maybe, more people will understand what families are struggling with and lend them 

1. Gas.  Often, families and individuals have to drive out of their neighborhood area to find treatment.  Psychiatrists are often booked for months in advance, so often individuals have to drive far just to receive the help that they need.  Even if the mental health professional is close by, there are still extra trips that have to be made and it can add up.
2. Child care. You can’t take your child with you to your own therapy appointment. This will require some type of child care.  Also, if one of your children are receiving services, you might need to leave other siblings at home in order to take the other sibling to see their doctor or therapist. Sadly, for most couple, this will eat up the babysitting part of the budget and render them unable to afford to go out on a date. 
3. Repairs. What do I mean by repairs? Well, when someone isn’t feeling mentally well, sometimes they can get frustrated and punch or kick a wall, throw a glass or some other household item could be the victim of their frustration.  On a more abstract repairs, could be a person’s credit or career.  Depression, anxiety or any mental illness can interfere with our daily life and could lead us to forget to pay some bills. Our credit can take a hit as we get overwhelmed and aren’t functioning properly.
4. Advocate/lawyer. Hopefully you won’t ever need to hire either one of these, but if you do, they are definitely an added expense.  We have actually had to hire both.  I’m now taking a class in order to be an IEP Advocate so I can help other fight their battles with the extra support and knowledge they need during a tough time. Sadly, it can often be difficult to get a child the services they need and deserve while in school and parents often have to hire other professionals to help them navigate this maze.   
5. Co-Pays and deductibles.  These will add up quickly.  At one point I had 3 of our 4 boys in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist.  When it started, we were blessed with pretty good mental health coverage. I was shocked.  We could go to this one place and have it covered 100% with unlimited visits!! Unheard of benefits! Plus, the staff was knowledgeable and professional.  Unfortunately, when my husband switched jobs, it was no longer an option for us.  I also saw that about a year after we had to switch to private pay, the mental health center had closed down for some unknown reason.  Less and less resources when what we need is more resources. We also had two of our son’s in programs that weren’t covered at all by insurance.  One was and after school program that met twice a week and taught social skills.  That was $400/month.  The other was a therapeutic boarding school which cost us $2000/month. We drained our savings and racked up credit cards, but it was worth every penny to help our sons.  However, these are expenses many don’t even realize families like ours have.
6. Self-care. Self-care can definitely be free, but sometimes what we really need to recharge, will cost money.  Whether it is yourself that is struggling with a mental illness or a loved one, it is important to make sure we are taking care of ourselves.  This includes finding a way to take a vacation in order to be away from the daily grind and routine.  Taking time away and truly being off the grid. A massage, a pedicure, a night alone in a hotel, can all be things families need but also often can’t afford to do because of the cost of treatment, but are so necessary.
7. Your Physical Health.  Living with a mental illness or living with a loved one with mental illness, can take a toll on your physical health.  Mental illness can often lead to individuals neglecting their physical well being and eventually it will affect your health.  The same goes for family members caring for someone with a mental illness. We start focusing on the mental illness and not the physical and it will often lead to physical illnesses that need time, attention and money to correct. This is something that most people don’t ever consider.

I’m sure there are plenty more that I have missed.  I would love to hear what expenses you have experienced on your journey.  

PTSD are 4 letters we hear quite often now.  PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  We are slowly becoming more aware of the long term effects of trauma on the human brain.  Unfortunately, our resources for those battling PTSD have not caught up with the need.  When most people hear someone say PTSD, the often immediately think of soldiers who have retuned from battle.  After World War II, physicians and other medical professionals referred to this condition as “shell shock”.  After Vietnam, there really wasn’t a whole lot of support for these soldiers, but sadly, it is this group that helped define and brought awareness to the long term effects of war and other trauma.  As I became and adult and learned about PTSD, I realized that this explained many of my father’s behaviors. He served in Vietnam and while he came back physically, a big part of him mentally was always in Vietnam.  His PTSD was pretty bad and he still struggled daily.   Nightmares and flashbacks haunted him until the last days of his life. Sadly, PTSD wasn’t even recognized as a mental health disorder until 1980!! That was almost 20 years after my father returned to Vietnam.We are now seeing soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan struggling with PTSD. The help is slowly starting to be there, but Veterans are still one of our most at risk population in our society.  

The Mayo Clinic classifies the symptoms into four types listed below.:

“….symptoms are generally grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, and changes in physical and emotional reactions. Symptoms can vary over time or vary from person to person.”

There are a few things I know for sure about PTSD.

**It is NOT an issue that only affects soldiers.   The New York Police Department had 4 officers die from suicide in a 3 week span in June, 2019! That is a huge number and one I hope and pray police forces everywhere are realizing their officers need even more emotional supports.  I wish each department required at least a monthly check in for each officer with a mental health counselor.  They see a lot and deal with a lot of traumatic circumstances. We need to be sure we are supporting them along the way.  Any individual who experiences a traumatic event or lives in the chaos of ongoing trauma, such as an abusive relationship or a sexual assault, are at a much higher risk of suffering from PTSD.  We need to be sure that we as a society are supporting each of them along the way. 

**Children can have PTSD, too.  We don’t often think about PTSD and children, but sadly, there are many who have survived traumatic events that have caused them to have PTSD. Our one son joined our family through foster care adoption. He bounced around to 5 different homes/families before his 5th birthday.  They weren’t always the best environments for feeling safe and secure.  Honestly, before he joined our family, I really had never connected PTSD with children.  Like many in society at the time, I mainly thought about it affecting soldiers who have seen the horrors of war.   After many years of therapy, love and support, our son seems to be past the worse of it.  It is important for all of us to be aware of the behaviors that can occur in a young person who may have been emotionally traumatized in some way. 

**There is hope.  Experts are creating more and more successful therapeutic treatments for individuals struggling with PTSD.  For some, just traditional therapy will help them.  Sometimes all someone needs is to talk about the trauma, work through the feelings and come to the realization that they are now safe and that the trauma is over.  Others will need much more intensive therapeutic treatment.  One “newer” therapeutic technique is EDMR.  EDMR stands for, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.  You can look at the graphic above that I found courtesy of www.lifestonecenter.com. It is a “non traditional form of psychotherapy designed to diminish negative feelings associated with memories of traumatic events.”~Psychology Today. EDMR focuses les on the traumatic event and has the individual focus more on the disturbing emotions from the event.  This therapy is starting to gain more respect  and seeing more success, but is still not in widespread use. 

**So, this statement I should say is more of my opinion than a fact.  In my opinion, I believe we have a large portion of our population walking around emotionally hurt from traumatic events and that trauma is one of our nations biggest crisis.  Not only can the emotional effects of trauma be connected to suicide, but it can also often be connected to those who are suffering from PTSD to act out towards others.  There is a saying that goes around the trauma community that goes like this: “Hurt people, hurt people.”  We need to do a better job helping those who are hurting.  We all need to start demanding more resources be made available to those who are struggling to help them work through the chaos in their brain. I saw a news program recently that veterans that live on Guam have to fly to Hawaii in order to receive therapy from a trained therapist because the island doesn’t have any.   When I first looked into EDMR therapy for our son, there wasn’t a single therapist in the state that was trained in it.  We need more. With the proper support and resources helping those suffering, I believe that we would see so many of our current problems in our communities disappear.

One of my biggest concerns I have are for the survivors of each school shooting we have.  So many of these survivors are still struggling from that traumatic day and I know for sure that we are not helping them enough. This spring, two students from Parkland, FL and a former student from Columbine, all died by suicide because of the traumatic experiences they each lived through.  Society needs to understand that just because the story is no longer in the quick news cycle, it doesn’t mean that all of those involved have moved on.  Just as soldiers who return home from war physically, but may still be there mentally, any individual who lives through a traumatic event, can begin to struggle with PTSD. It is important for us all to understand that it can and will take time for our loved ones to heal. All of our young people who have witnessed and survived school shootings are all at risk for PTSD, as are the adults who were part of such tragedies. We need to understand that the brain does not “move on” from traumatic events as quickly as society likes to believe.

If you or your loved one is struggling with symptoms of PTSD or lived through a traumatic event, please seek professional help sooner, rather than later.  Below are a few resources if you aren’t sure where to start.

~Veteran’s Affairs Crisis Line: 800-273-8255 press 1

~NAMI(National Alliance for Mental Illness) Hotline:  800-999-6264

~National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

Ahh, pets! It seems you are either someone who wants pets or you don’t. Well, for years, I fell in the latter category.  It wasn’t that I didn’t love animals or enjoy the pets I had growing up.  I just knew that pets required time, energy and finances that I simply wasn’t in a position to commit to at that point in my life.  In fact, I really hadn’t planned to commit to pets while raising my 4 boys.  I was busy.  I was often overwhelmed.  And, they were/are expensive!(boys eat a LOT of food you guys!). However, as we began making our way through our “perfect” lives, many unexpected twists and turns lead to me having a change of heart.  

I knew that animals were known to be therapeutic and that dogs were used as service animals as well and in hospitals to help patients relax.  I also knew deep down that my boys would benefit emotionally from having them around. However, with 3 of my 4 boys needing extra time, love and attention for their own challenges, I just didn’t feel I had the energy needed to add any other responsibilities to my life. Yes, I know, people say the kids can take care of them, but I knew that my boys were truly just getting through the day and that I would ultimately be the one to take care of them for the most part.

But then something happened.  My college roommate came to visit us and she brought her 120 pound Yellow Lab.  The week she was with us, my son Jacob,  who had recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism, had no major meltdowns.  Meltdowns were a daily occurrence for him at that point in time.  Whenever he began to get upset, he would simply go and hug the dog.  He still got upset, but it was within the range of acceptable behavior.  The exact next week, my mom came and brought her dog for a week.  My son continued his stretch of having less meltdowns and going to the dog when he became upset.  I watched with my own eyes how these dogs were therapeutic to my son.  Just by having these dogs sit with him or letting him hug them had such a calming affect on him.  I really could no longer justify not getting a dog.  One of my boys truly needed a dog in order to help his mental health.  

So, five months later, we headed over to the Humane Society to look at some dogs.  My intention was ONE dog.  Just one!  But, the best laid plans will go awry when children are involved! My one son picked out a dog that he instantly fell in love with.  There was no convincing him of any other dog at the shelter.  A funny thing happened while we were there.  Something came over me and I suggested we get two dogs.  I mean, I found two kids easier than one because they had a playmate.  Wouldn’t that be the same case for dogs?  The problem was, this little puppy our son had picked, wasn’t playing nice with the other puppies we were introducing to her. That is until one of my other son’s came marching in the room with a bigger dog. This son spent his first 5 years of life in the foster care system and had many emotional issues from that trauma, so I knew he would benefit from a dog too. He was a sweet dog and his size was big enough to intimate dog #1.  After about 3 hours at the Humane Society, we walked out with Chelsea and Vinnie who quickly were renamed, Philly(for our hometown) and Duke(my oldest son’s favorite college lacrosse team).  We were done. We had two dogs.  The four boys were thrilled.  And the meltdown became less intense and shorter.  The dogs instantly calmed each boy when they became upset, It was a win/win.

I sure didn’t plan on getting any other pets.  I was enjoying the two we had, but they were work.  It was ok. I surprisingly didn’t mind.  

About 3 years later, my oldest son, Christopher, started talking about a cat in the neighborhood that would come to the bus stop.  Convinced he was a stray, he asked if he could bring him home.  You see, my oldest son has anxiety and ADHD, so he found the cat calming.   I said no.  I didn’t want any more animals.  Things were stressful at that time.  A few months later, the same cat was being fed by his friend.  Next thing I know, the cat is in our driveway with food.  HA! He was attached to this cat and the cat really seemed to help him.  Before I knew it, the cat was inside my house and we took him to the vet for shots.  Seriously, I went from no pets to three and all because they were therapeutic with my boys. 

Again I was sure that was it. We had all the pets we would have. Each boy who struggled with something had a pet!  They were all doing better emotionally because of the calmness the pets brought into there lives.  But then…..

One night I was driving Jacob to fencing.  As we were leaving the neighborhood and about to turn on the main road, I saw a puppy running in and out of traffic.  Then he went into the storm drain.  Assuming he was lost, I went and grabbed him from the storm drain.  We brought him home to wash him and feed him. He was shaking from hunger.  I looked for his owners, but no one claimed him.  Puppies are often dumped in Alabama(where we lived at the time) and so I figured that is what happened to him. After a week of looking, we were all attached.  My youngest son, Caleb, claimed him and named him Lucky.  He was the only boy without a pet, so this made things equal. However, I have to admit, Lucky is my buddy and probably the most therapeutic to me.  He never leaves my side, insists on sleeping with me(which I swore I would never do) and also loves to ride in the car with me.  He may be Caleb’s dog, but I think he benefits me the most.

So, while dogs, and cats, are a lot of time, energy and money, if you or someone you love struggles with mental health issues, research getting a pet. Be sure you can fully commit to having one.  Having a pet is a 10-20 year commitment.  They become part of the family.  Especially if they become an emotional support.  None of our pets are official emotional support or service dogs.  My boys don’t seem to need to take them out with them at the moment.   They just love being able to come home and love on their dog(and cat!).  They have truly been one of the best investments in our boys’ mental health. 

I love to travel and we love to travel as a family.  Road trips were our main form of travel when our four sons were growing up. Even now, we are planning a road trip for the summer of 2020. I want to get one last one in before my oldest graduates from college.  One thing I have learned over the years is that keeping some sort of routine is goo for our mental health.  Especially mine! The last thing you want to happen on vacation is ending up with a bought of depression, an anxiety attack or some other scenario that could have possibly been avoided if you just had created a plan or maintained some sort of routine. Not only could this make your vacation more enjoyable and relaxing, but keeping to your routine could help your re-entry into reality go smoother.  I mean, coming back from vacation is hard enough.  Why make it any more difficult?!  I have found that the more I stick too my basic routine, the better my mind will be both during my travels and after I have to return to the daily grind.  Whatever you do daily to maintain your brain health on a daily basis, try to continue these activities the best you can while you travel.  At first you may find this challenging, but I’m convinced that with a little be of thought and planning, you will be able to see how easy it can be and will see the benefits to your mental health. 

So, what type of a routine am I talking about? Do I mean you can’t relax and have fun? Does keeping a routine while on vacation mean you can’t try new activities?  Of course not!  However, just because we go on vacation, it doesn’t mean we should throw out all this activities that help us feel good and help us to maintain our good mental health on a daily basis.  We can easily weave these important activities into our traveling. 

One important area of your routine that needs to occur when traveling is exercise.  In fact, if exercise isn’t already part of your daily routine, then this is a great time to start. Most hotels have gyms in them. Carve out 30 minutes a day to go workout and get those endorphins moving in your brain. Exercise is probably the most important activity we can do that will directly effect our daily mental health. When I’m traveling, I do my best to not miss more than one day of exercise. Depending on your travels, this may not be as hard as you think.  You can often easily incorporate it into your vacation plans. Last year we went on a cruise for my 50th birthday. While in Key West, we did a bike tour of the island. Boom! Exercise and touring all in one. It was tons of fun and my mind felt amazing. Last week while on our cruise, I went to the gym most days and walked on the treadmill while watching the ocean go bye. So often traveling lends itself to walking while exploring the place you are visiting. Take advantage of it. Your brain will thank you. 

Another area of my routine I try to maintain while traveling is my healthy eating habits. This one can take a little more thought and planning.  Especially when there are desserts that look as pretty as the picture above!! I always make sure I pack some healthy snacks such as protein bars, nuts and  other easily portable food. This way, if you are in a jam and can’t find anything healthy, you will have a healthy alternative ready.  It’s actually easier than you might think to stay eating healthy while traveling. Even fast food restaurants have salads now.  Find a place with healthy options and choose them.  Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some of the local fare that may Nootka be the healthiest.  Just be sure to do it in moderation.  Too many days of bad food choices will catch h jump yo you and make you feel emotionally drained. Plan ahead and choose wisely. 

Our sleep schedule is often different while traveling and this can both alter our brains while traveling and make it more difficult to reset when we return.  This is something that took me year to figure out. I would stay up super late and the sleep in late. This is not a schedule that’s works for my mental, or physical, health. I make sure I’m in bed no later than 11:30 each night unless there is something very special that requires me to stay up later. I then make sure I don’t sleep any later than 8:30.  This way, my body stays on a similar schedule and I don’t have too much trouble getting back into my regular sleep routine. 

Being slightly off my regular  schedule can lead to forgetting to take my medication so I always set alarms when I go away so I don’t forget!  There is nothing worse than forgetting out of that routine. Many psychiatric medications can have wicked side effects so we want to do all we can to stay ion this routine!  If I forget to take my cymbalta, I will get a wicked headache on the second day! You don’t want to suffer from withdrawal effects while on vacation. I often use a medication organizer like the one pictured above. This way I don’t have to try to remember if I took my pills. I can just look at the correct section,

We just returned from a family vacation.  We took our first family cruise(it was amazing!). I did my best to follow all of these tips as well as my sons. They definitely stayed out later and enjoyed the nightlife, but we were up and out before 9am every morning.  We did a lot of walking and some trips to the gym.  We even ate healthy other than a few yummy desserts.  I talked to my boys about the importance of keeping a routine while on vacation and my two sons who were on the trip that struggle with depression and anxiety agreed that it is very helpful for them too. 

So, next time you go on vacation, give it a try.  See if maintaining a similar routine while away helps you too stay on track with your mental health.  As a society, we tend to underestimate the powerful connection between our mind and body as well as our sleep and nutrition. What techniques or activities do you use to maintain your mental health while traveling?

Journaling has been a newer activity for me. Sure, there were times in my youth and teen years that i kept a diary, but that was a different activity.  When keeping a diary, we typically just write freely with whatever comes to our mind.  Journaling can be a little more guided in that one often uses a prompt. This can be a word, or sentence to guide your writing each day.  Then, there is Bullet Journaling which encourages an individual to be more creative.  This is a newer concept for me and one I am just beginning to implement.  Whatever way you choose to journal, just do what makes you feel better.  I started journaling almost daily back in January.  I started with simply writing what I was grateful for, but I have since expanded. I often have trouble thinking outside the box, but when I discovered bullet journals encourage writing, drawing, mental check ins and really anything you want to use to express yourself.  You don’t have to have a fancy journal book for this.  You can just use a notebook from the school supply section for a dollar.  Or. You can get a special book and use colorful pens. My journal is pictured above. Flamingos and palm trees just make me happy! Just make it your own.  It has been so beneficial for me in many ways, but especially for my mental health.  Because this activity has been so helpful to me, I wanted to share a few journal prompt ideas so you can get started on your journaling journey. 

~What are 5 things you are grateful for today, and why?

~What is your biggest struggle at the moment and what steps can you make to overcome this struggle?

~What habits do you have that help your mental health and what habits do you want to begin?

~what important lesson have you learned in the past 6 months and how has it changed your view on life?

~Create a list of 5 new self-care ideas you want to try this month.

~What are your top 3 inspirational quotes? Write them down and make them look beautiful.

~Make a list of those you love and beside their name, put one thing about them that you love about them. 

~What are your goals for the day/week/month/year? I do this every Sunday for the week and the first of each month for the month.

~What are 3 things that happened today that made you smile?  I have a friend who posts on facebook every single day something that made her smile that day.

~List 5 new activities that you want to try.

~What is something you can do today to make someone else’s day better?

~Create a list of positive affirmations for you to say daily that will encourage your goals and keep your mental health in a positive way.

You can create your own prompts, use these prompts to start or you can search on Pinterest or Google “Journal Prompts” to get some more ideas if you struggle with creating your own.  I believe taking time each morning to write and create in your journal is a great way to start the day.  It will get your mindset in the right place for the day.  If you aren’t a morning person, then journal when the time is right for you. Just start and commit to keeping a journal for 30 days.  Then, at the end of those 30 days, reflect back and see if it helped you feel better and be better.