Ending Stigma Together

Managing live with depression can feel like a full time job even when things in life are going really well.  There are so many moving pieces for us to do what we know will help us work at keeping our depression away or to fight our way out of depression when it starts to descend upon us.  Most of us do all we can to stay as happy as possible and mentally healthy. 

However, what happens when the world around us starts falling apart? How do we handle life when we are in the middle of a crisis that has nothing to do with our depression but could very well trigger it, and trigger it bad? What can we do to support ourselves when we find ourselves immersed in difficult life events that we never wanted to be in? Or, ones that are just so hurtful and painful? Ones that we never in a million years imagined happening in our lives?  These are all examples of life events that could really through us off track of our depression management plan.  Even on our best days, it can take a lot of work to keep our depression away.  When life give us some major lemons, it becomes even harder to keep making lemonade.

My life has been throwing me a lot of these difficult events lately.  In fact, the last 6 months have been one unexpected difficult event after another.  Many days I feel as though I’m drowning.  I’m not going to lie, I’ve had some dark days.  However, I work hard to make sure those days don’t go longer than 2 in a row.  I work hard daily to keep my mind and body as healthy as I can so when these blows keep coming(and they will keep coming for a bit) that I have the strength to push through again and again.  

So, what do I do? How do I manage my depression during difficult life events?  I thought I’d share all that I have been doing in order to keep my head above water and my souls in the light and out of the darkness. 

*Exercise even when you don’t feel like it. I make sure I exercise at least 5 days a week.  My goal is 7 days, but it doesn’t always happen.  I make sure I never miss 2 days in a row though.  It is too easy to get into a rut.  I love to walk, so most days I walk for an hour.  Yoga is another great option.  On days I want to stay in bed longer, I do some ab work and leg lifts in bed.  The point is to move even if it is just for 20 minutes. Moving is just so important for our mental health.  I know there are days where we don’t want to do it, but that is why it is so important to make this a daily habit. If you do, it will be easier to maintain when life throws these difficult events your way.  

*Practice Daily Mindfulness. If you’ve been around my blog for a bit, you know how crucial practicing mindfulness is to managing my depression.  I run a self-care and mindfulness group on FB that I’d love for you to join.  You can join it HERE.  Some of my favorite mindfulness activities are meditating, checking in with my emotions throughout the day, mindful breathing and visualization to name a few.  Mindful breathing is one the best mindful exercises for managing my depression during these difficult times. It keeps the oxygen flowing to my brain and body which helps to better manage my emotions.  Also, checking in with my emotions on an hourly basis(I often refer to this as my “feelings check-in), is a great way to stay ahead of overwhelming feelings. By regularly assessing how you are feeling, you can begin to do what you need to do in order to adjust your situation so you can get better control on your feelings before they get control of you. It is an incredible technique that has changed my life. 

*Eat Whole Food Plant Based as much as you can.  I began to eat a Whole Food Plant Based(WFPB) diet a little over 3 years ago. I switched to this way of eating not for my depression, but to try to relieve my ongoing chronic pain from fibromalygia.  However, it has also done wonders for managing my depression.  I would say I eat this way about 90% of the time.  Life isn’t perfect. Neither am I.  I do go out of my way to eat as healthy and Whole Foods as possible.  The less preservatives and chemicals we put into our body, the better.  Whole Foods are foods that aren’t processed.  For example, fruits, vegetables, rice, beans, nuts, legumes, and such.  My body feels cleaner and stronger.  It doesn’t have to cost a lot.  Rice and beans are affordable.  Frozen fruits and vegetables are good. The less processed foods you eat, the better your brain will function.  You can learn more about eating a WFPB diet on the Forks Over Knives website. That is where I find most of my recipes and tips. Check it out and maybe just add a few healthy choices and see how things go for you.  

*Avoid Alcohol.  Sometimes when things get stressful or overwhelming, we want to “go out for a drink” or, “buy a bottle of wine”.  Alcohol can relax us, numb us and take our mind off of our difficult moments.  However, it is important to remember that alcohol is a depressant.  Society often shows pictures of people having a good time while drinking.  I’m not against having a drink now and then, but when life is tough and when you live with depression, it is best to avoid alcohol during these difficult life events because alcohol can trigger our depression and make it harder to cope.  It is best to just avoid it during these times.  

*Practice Daily Self-Care.  Self-care is so important in depression management.  I make sure I do a little something daily for self-care.  It often can be one of my mindfulness exercises.  Taking a shower is self-care when you are battling depression.  Eating a healthy meal.  If you have time, do something a little more lavish.  Treat yourself to a spa day if it is in the budget.  Or, if you are broke like me, do a spa day at home. It is one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday night when I’m home and in need of a little extra self-care.  It’s ok to put yourself first when life is difficult.  It is crucial to managing your depression. 

*Check in with a therapist. If you have a therapist, check in with them.  If you don’t maybe find one and have a few sessions.  I recently signed up for Better Help. I was matched with a great therapist who has really been helping me to wade through the difficult life events that have been thrown my way lately.  I won’t be able to do it again next month.  However, after 2 months, I will have had 6 sessions with her and countless online exchanges.  It has been money well spent that I had to pull from elsewhere in my budget to make it happen.  If you can make it happen during difficult life events, checking in with a professional can be a real asset to giving you the strength and skills to navigate life and keep your depression in check.  

*Journal daily. Not when you feel like it.  Not when you remember.  Not every now and then.  We need to journal every single day.  Journaling will help you sort out your emotions, thoughts and feelings.  You can dump out everything that is clogging up your brain.  By releasing all of your cares and worries onto the page of your journal, you allow your brain to have more energy to work on managing your depression.  You can sort out everything so you can leave it behind and face your day with the energy you need during difficult life events.  One thing I always do when I journal is to write down at least 3 things for which I am grateful for each day. This helps me to keep things in perspective and reminds me that even when things are dark and difficult, I am still very blessed.  If you haven’t grabbed my 10 Day Journal For Depression yet, you can download your copy HERE.  It has 10 journal prompts in it to help you better understand you depression.  When we better understand our depression, we can better manage it.  

No matter how difficult life can become at times, no matter how dark your days may eat, remember that it will always pass. It will get better.  The days will become brighter. Life will become easier.  You are not in this along.  Others understand your struggles.  Remember, we are stronger together.

If you haven’t grabbed a copy of my book, Depression Survival Guide, you can do so HERE.

And please come be a part of my new community, Self-Care and Mindfulness Group on Facebook. I host monthly challenges and share tips and strategies to help you use self-care and mindfulness to better manage your mental health. You can join it by clicking HERE.

What is mindfulness? I recently asked this question in my instagram stories.  A few of the answers I got were, “being fully in the moment,” “being aware of what I’m doing” and “being present”. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as, “a mental state achieved by focusing on one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting ones feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations; used as a therapeutic technique.”  While most exercises aren’t difficult to perform, they do take time, commitment to try and focus in order to become consistent in order to start to see a positive change.  

I have been practicing mindfulness daily since 2018.  I practice a wide variety of mindfulness exercises.  What I have come to realize is that these exercises have had a tremendously positive affect on my mental health; especially my depression.  The best part about mindfulness is that most exercises are free and can be done almost anywhere and anytime that you might need them.

I wanted to share 5 reasons I believe that everyone should begin to practice mindfulness on a daily basis.  If you want to get started, hop on over to my FREE Self-Care and Mindfulness Group on FB where I am running a 7 Day Mindfulness Challenge this week. You can join by clicking HERE.  For now, read the 5 reasons I believe everyone needs to be practicing mindfulness daily.

*You will gain better control of your emotions. Since I have begun my regular practice of mindfulness, my depression is under the so much better control.  Never in my life have I felt as though I have so much control over my depression. Do I still get depressed? ABSOLUTELY!  Depression is something I live with daily and fight daily to keep away.  Some days its downright exhausting and feels like a full time job!  However, mindfulness has given me a tremendous amount of tools for my depression tool kit! I have so many exercises that I practice regularly that I don’t even have to give much thought as to what I need to do to help my mood.  I know what exercises help calm me down. 

*You will have more inner peace. When you are in better control of your emotions, this will eventually lead to more inner peace.  You begin to stop letting stress and fear take over your mind and body.  You stop allowing your emotions to take control of you and you start to take control of them.  As you practice exercises such as meditation, mindful breathing or yoga, your body will begin to teach itself to relax. You will feel yourself move away from the feelings of stress and instead move towards the feelings of peace.  Stress will begin to be repulsive to your mind and body and you will fight hard with all you have to stay away from it and maintain peace.  When I begin to feel stressed, I automatically begin to practice some mindful breathing and try to take a walk or meditate.  Since I am more aware of my emotions, I am able to recognize when they are getting out of control sooner.

*It will begin to become automatic.  The more regularly I began to practice mindfulness, the more I began to realize I was using many of these techniques on a regular basis without even thinking about them.  When I become stressed, I automatically begin I to breathe mindfully. I regularly check in with my emotions throughout the day without a reminder alarm. (Emotion check in is one of my favorite mindfulness activities! You can learn more about it by joining my FB group HERE).  When I want to stress eat, I crave healthy foods and not the sugary, junk foods. Since I have been regularly practicing mindfulness for over 2 years, my brain and body have begun to automatically go to these resources.  With time and consistency, I believe yours will too.  

*Your overall health will improve. It is good for your mental and physical health. Stress is one of the leading causes to so many of our physical and mental illnesses. By teaching your mind and body how to de-escalate the stress that you are feeling, you are actually improving your health.  Stress can create havoc on our minds and bodies. It has been connected to health issues such as heart disease and fibromalygia. Since activities such as yoga and walking can be done mindfully, you will be getting in some physical and mental exercise in at the same time, hence, making your mind and body healthier.  Mindful eating will also help you to monitor what and how much you eat.  This will help you improve your overall health. Nutrition affects both our mental and physical health so my being present and aware of what we are eating, we will improve our health. 

*Life will become more enjoyable. Because of all the benefits I have mentioned above, your life will ultimately become more enjoyable.  You will learn how to lean on these exercises.  You will be prepared to battle the stress that comes your way.  Your emotions won’t control you, but you will begin to control them.  You will feel more powerful over your life and there is a sense of freedom and happiness that comes from this.  It will take time and being consistent, but if you commit to just 20 minutes a day, I believe you too will find more peace and joy in your life. You will slowly begin to feel lighter and happier.

So, what do you have to lose? You can start today.  Even if you don’t want to participate in my 7 Day Challenge, you can still join the group and grab the free workbook that is in there.  Just click HERE to join. That way, you can begin your mindfulness journey too.  I hope to see you in the group, but most of all, I hope you join me on this mindfulness journey. 

According to NAMI, 1 in 5 adults in America experience mental illness yet much of society doesn’t give mental health much thought. It’s not typically a political platform for which people look to when choosing a candidate. It is rarely taught in schools and when it is, it is just a snippet of what our children need to understand. Our work places don’t usually offer mental health days. Most insurances have little to no coverage for mental health services. While we are making great progress with talking openly about our mental health and the services society needs, we still have a very long way to go.

Today I wanted to share with you some facts and figures that I got form the NAMI website this week. If you aren’t familiar with NAMI, it is an amazing mental health organization called National Alliance for Mental Illness(NAMI). They offer programs for families, monthly meetings with different topics and speakers and much more. Their website is www.nami.org.

This graphic breaks down mental illness across specific ethnic backgrounds and the LGB community. What it doesn’t show is the discrepancy of resources available to many of these communities. The availability is still not equal. Not even close. Also, in the black and Asian communities, there tends to be even more stigma which often leads to less people reaching out for help and therefore, their numbers are probably lower than reality. So many people are either ashamed or don’t have access to mental health care.

This graphic shows us some of the more common mental illnesses that affect members of our society. Keep in mind, these are just numbers for the US, and not the world. Also, there are some important mental illnesses left off this list such as, Eating Disorders. While Eating Disorders are a small percentage of people in the mental illness stats, it has the highest death rate. Also, many individuals can go undiagnosed since our society praises thinness. It is rarely looked at as a negative unless your ED becomes severe. As you can see from the numbers above, Anxiety Disorders are the most common mental illness members of our society experience. It’s not surprising with all we have going on in the world. If you experience any of these, don’t be discouraged. We have so much more power than we realize. In addition to accessing professional help and medication if deemed necessary, living a healthy lifestyle, practicing mindfulness, exercising, getting the right amount of sleep, journaling and many other techniques can not only help decrease your symptoms, but can improve your overall well being. It is a lot of work to stay feeling your best when you experience a mental illness, but it is worth the work.

I’m putting these two together. According to NAMI, 1 in 5 adults and 1 in 6 youth ages 6-17, experience mental illness. That means, for a classroom of 24 students in a 5th grade class, 4 of them will be experience some kind of mental illness. For adults, that number means 20% of the population is experiencing some kind of mental illness. That’s a lot of us and means we all most likely live, work with or socialize with someone who is experiencing mental illness. Be kind. Don’t judge that kid at school who acts out and is always causing problems. Don’t judge the parents. It may not be “bad parenting” or “bad behavior” but it may be the beginning of a mental health issue. Be kind to your co-worker or friend who may be struggling. You just never know who is in that 1 in 5, so try to treat everyone with the kindness you would want to be treated with. I honestly believe these numbers are even higher but so many of us go undiagnosed and never receive treatment. This leads into my final graphic.

According to this NAMI stat, it takes an average of 11 years between the onset of a mental illness and for someone to finally get the treatment the need. ELEVEN YEARS! It takes over a decade. I believe there are a few reasons for this big delay. Of course, stigma plays a huge role. So many people believe that what they are experiencing is “just a phase” or they just need to “push through” it. Before they realize it, years of suffering have gone by. Unless someone becomes significantly unstable, psychotic or unable to function, one can easily continue their day to day and suffer silently. Many of us walk around depressed or anxious and never get treatment for it until it completely consumes our lives, yet when we get a bad sinus infection, the flu or a migraine, we don’t walk around suffering waiting for it to get so bad we are no longer functioning. We go to the doctor and get the help we need to make it better, or to stop it from getting worse. Let’s start treating our Mental Health with the same love and respect we treat our physical health. They are truly one in the same. Our brain is our most important organ. Without it functioning properly, our entire body can be thrown off track. Treat it like the important part of you that it is.

There is still time to sign up for my 7 Day Mindfulness challenge. It starts Sunday, October 11th at 7pm in m private FB group. You can click HERE to access the group and request to join. You will have access to a workbook that I will post on Sunday. I will be going LIVE each night at 7pm for group coaching to discuss that days activity the next day’s activity. I will also have another prize drawing so you do not want to miss it! Learn how to uncover the power of your mind.

I believe one of the biggest stumbling blocks to ending the stigma of mental illness in society are the numerous misconceptions and misunderstandings so many people have regarding it.  Many illnesses have been misunderstood and that led to stigma.  Mental illness is one that we are still working on getting enough education and knowledge out there in order to set these ongoing misconceptions cleared up so that people are no longer afraid, ashamed or lack the needed knowledge.  I wanted to share 5 of these misconceptions with you this week to help debunk them.

*People with mental illness are violent.  This is a very common one that has become to be more understood.  Most violent offenders do not have mental illness.  Sure, it happens.  You hear of someone who is in a major psychotic episode, or so depressed and in a complete state of despair that they do something violent.  However, statistically, individuals with mental illness are only a small percentage of violent offenders.  Individuals who live with mental illness tend to be more vulnerable and are more likely to be victims of a violent crime.  

*Taking medication is a sign of weakness.  Why people think this way is beyond me.  Just because you go on medication for mental illness doesn’t mean you will be on it forever.  However, even if you are, who cares?  Sometimes our body needs a little help to regulate certain health issues and mental illness is a health issue.  The brain is an organ.  If you needed medication to make your heart beat correctly, or insulin to help your pancreas process your sugars, or medication for any other illness and the medication would give you a higher quality of life and possibly even save your life, would you take it? If you already tried everything you know how to help yourself, most likely you wold.  Medication for mental illnesses is no different.  It doesn’t make you week.  In fact, in most cases, it makes you stronger and gives you back a higher quality of life. 

*It’s just a matter of changing your mindset.  Wouldn’t be so amazing if we could control our mind and cure it? Now, I do believe that practicing mindfulness, saying positive affirmations, surrounding yourself with a peaceful environment will help you help your mind heal and give you more control over your mental health.  However, it won’t change a true mental illness.  Someone with schizophrenia can’t just think their way out of a psychotic episode.  Depression, anxiety and BPD won’t magically disappear just by thinking happy, peaceful thoughts now and then.  What we can do is be prepared for when our tough moments come. Be aware of what helps you so you have your tools ready.  Say positive affirmations and practice other mindfulness activities.  While simply changing our mindset won’t get rid of our mental illness, it can make us healthier and mentally stronger when we need to be the most. 

*People with mental illness aren’t able to be contributing members of society.  Too many people still think of the old movie, One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest” when they think of people with mental illness.  The reality is, many  of us work hard, have families and contribute greatly.  Even those with more severe mental illness are now involved in different vocational rehab job training and job support programs.  We all have so much to offer.  It is just a matter of having the right resources available and finding the right program to help many of us thrive.  

*Mental health has plenty of funding for the services needed. Many people don’t realize just how underfunded our mental health system is.  We closed most of our state hospitals down in the 80s and 90s, and while the premise to give these individuals their freedom, a life and more opportunities, there simply weren’t, and aren’t, enough resources out there to support some of the more I’ll individual.  Too many ended up homeless and living on the street. Today, our jails are filled with individual with chronic and severe mental illness because they aren’t able to life in society successfully without a large amount of support.  Since there are no longer state hospitals, many of these sick individuals end up in our prison system so they can be kept safe.  It is truly heartbreaking because jail is a far worse environment for them than a state hospital ever was. 

Our mental health system is broken.  It’s underfunded.  We lack the resources needed to support everyone.  Most of us may not be in a position to fix all of these problems, but we are all in a position to educate, share, support and break down the misconceptions and the stigma.   

Do one thing today to help educate others.  Share this post.  Have a conversation. Read a book.  Small steps add up quickly the more of us there are taking them.  

I hope you have joined my private FB group, Self-Care and Mindfulness.  The 7 Day Mindfulness Challenge starts on Sunday night at 8pm!  You can click HERE to request to join the page.  You will receive a workbook the day the challenge starts and we will have live group coaching each night.  Come start your mindfulness journey. 

It is Mental Health Awareness Week.  It runs from 10/4-10/10. October is also Mental Health Month.  Sure, breast cancer gets all the love in October, but let’s not forget about mental health this month.  Did you know that according to WHO, breast cancer kills around 627,000 people a year, whereas Suicide kills 800,000 people a year? I long for the day that mental health gets the same level of attention and funding that breast cancer does.  Until then, I will do my part to bring awareness.  You can go to NAMI.org and see what activities and events are going on in your community and find some incredible resources and information on mental health.

There are a number of things we can all do in order to help raise awareness of mental health during the month of October.  I wanted to share with you a few important days this week.

*Tuesday, October 6 is National Day of Prayer for Mental Illness Recovery and Understanding.  If you are religious and pray, spend some time praying on Tuesday.  If praying isn’t your thing, spend some time sending good vibes and messages of healing out into the universe.  

*Thursday, October 8 is National Depression Screening Day.  You can get a free online depression screening at HelpYourselfHelpOthers.org.

*Saturday, October 10 is World Mental Health Day.  The world will recognize the importance of mental health awareness.  It is also the day of NAMIWalks National Day of Hope.  You can check with your local NAMI organization to see what activities may be happening near you.

Mental illness can be treated, managed and sometimes even cured.  We need to continue to talk and share in order to raise awareness.  More funding and resources are needed in order to get the treatment needed to everyone who has a mental illness.  Too many of us go untreated because the treatment we need is either unavailable, not covered by insurance and therefore not affordable or we are too hesitant to get the help we need for fear of what others will think.  

Let’s use this week, and his month, to continue to work towards ending the stigma.  Stigma kills. Let’s start treating mental illness with the same respect as breast cancer and other physical illnesses.   Let’s fight for the resources needed and for society to understand the importance of caring for our brain.  Our brain is our most important organ. It is the organ that makes all the other organs function.  If our brain stops working, we die.  It is one of the few organs for which we can’t get a transplant.  We need to take care of it like the important object it is. You are not alone. We are in this life together. Let’s start acting that way.

It’s time our brains, and our mental health, gets the love and respect they deserve.

I’ll be sharing a post each day this week in order to bring awareness to mental health.  In the meantime, see what your local NAMI chapter may be having this week.  I know many are having some virtual events and some walks. Let’s all do our part to end the stigma and bring awareness. 

Also, I’ll be hosting a 7 Day Mindfulness Challenge starting Sunday, October 11th. I would love for you to join us. You can join the private FB group page by clicking HERE. The challenge will come with a free workbook, daily lives and a different mindful activity each day. Practicing mindfulness has done wonders for managing my depression and overall mental wellness. I hope you will join me.