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Beach lover. Peace seeker. Speaking random acts of kindness.
Advocate for others.
Educating and information sharing.
Let’s talk about spending money to cope when we are depressed!The other day I stumbled on a meme on a metal health Instagram page that joke about wondering where all the packages come from? You can see a copy of the post below.
So many people commented on how this happens to them. We were all laughing at ourselves and tried to find the humor in the absurdity of it. I knew it happens to me, but there was some comfort knowing I wasn’t alone! LOL I’ve always shopped when I was depressed. I also have always known that this is a common coping mechanism for many of us. Shopping can give us an initial rush and release endorphins. For many of us it becomes a quick and easy way to feel better for a short amount of time. We may feel better again once the package arrives, but it is only temporary. Yet, it seems that so many of us continue to do it when we are sitting home battling through our latest episode of depression.
What I didn’t realize was just how many of us can be so lost in our depression that we can actually forget what we are buying. Being able to shop at home, in our pajamas without even leaving the sofa has made it even easier than ever to shop impulsively. Looking at the packages sitting outside your door and wondering what the heck you bought this time and just don’t remember until you open up those packages. Our brains are incredible organs that we don’t fully understand. Our brains control every part of our body, so it can be a little scary when it forgets something you did! It shows just how much our mental health can affect our day to day life.
It can become an endless cycle that can end up costing a ton of money. This is why it is so important for us to develop multiple strategies we can use to cope with our depression. Instead of shopping, go for a walk, color, meditate or something else that helps you feel better without spending money you don’t have. Rotating our coping strategies will help you maintain a stronger mental health and help you feel more in control of your depression.
Whew! Living with mental illness and keeping yourself at a level of functioning can feel like a full-time job…and it is exhausting!! I’ve seen the term “high functioning” mental illness for those of us who live daily with mental illness, but still maintain jobs, are raising children and can function well enough to get by most days. What many people don’t realize is how much work goes into each day, how much recovery time most of us need (when nothing gets done) and just how exhausting this can be.
There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes in order to be able to function. To be honest, in order to fully manage my depression and to be as functioning as I would love to be, reach my goals as well as achieve all I want to achieve, I would need to make managing my depression my full-time job. More goes into maintaining a strong and healthy brain than just taking your medication and seeing a therapist.
I have a minimum of 5 strategies I use daily just to maintain my mental health so I can work, provide for my family and have relationships with other people. The ones I make sure to fit in to my daily routine are, exercise (at least 20 minutes), eat healthy, positive affirmations, being aware of my triggers, and checking in with my feelings throughout the day. There are so many more that I could add, but there simply isn’t time in the day to do all that I would like to do.
Plus, many of us who live daily with mental illness need downtime. After a social event, a stressful situation, or even just working all day can leave us completely drained. Often this means not getting other things done that we need to do. This can often make us look lazy or irresponsible, but we are just doing out best to keep our mental health where we are still able to function. This often looks like piles of mail on the counter, dishes in the sink, and sitting on the sofa watching TV. It’s difficult to explain unless you have truly lived it.
On days when are struggling with our mental illness, it is exhausting to just try to stay ahead of it. It is exhausting trying to work through it so we don’t spiral deeper. All our energy is going towards doing all we can to push through. The energy we have left for work, family, relationships, friends, etc. is often little to none. On days like this, it is a full-time job.
In an ideal world, we would have the time and money to focus only on our mental health. In an ideal world, we would have the entire day to do all we know that helps minimize the frequency of our depression and to keep our mental health the best it can possibly be. In an ideal world, others would understand that when it looks like we are being lazy, we are either trying to recover or we might be struggling. But, we don’t live in an ideal world when it comes to mental health. That is why we need to share and educate others so we can end the stigma. What do you do each day to help keep your mental health the best it can be each day?
Be sure you have downloaded my free 31 Day Journal for Depression. You can grab yours HERE.
Also, my update, second edition of my book, Depression Survival Guide will be released soon so stay tuned! Here’s a sneak peak of the new cover!
Does Clutter Cause Depression or Does Depression Caused Clutter? This has become one of those, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” kind of questions for me.
I often come across articles and studies that will show that clutter can cause depression. That the clutter can overstimulate our brain, make us feel overwhelmed and unproductive as well as distracting us from what we need to be focused on at that moment.
I do agree with a lot of this. When things get so cluttered and messy, it can feel overwhelming and I can feel like I can’t get anything done.
However, I actually see this from a different perspective. I truly feel that often our depression come first and what is causing the clutter. From there, it can simply begin to snowball.
When my house is neat, clean and has everything in its place(which is VERY rare), you can pretty much bet I’m feeling mentally strong, physically well and zero depression going on that day. When I’m not feeling depressed, I have the energy to “put things back where they belong,” do the dishes, fold the laundry and whatever other chores need to be completed around the house. I have the mental and physical energy to stay organized and keep ahead of the clutter that can so easily pile up.
On the flip side of this, when my depression is not good, on the days I am struggling, I don’t have the energy to keep up with putting things back where they belong or doing the dishes or anything other than surviving and pushing through. Those who don’t have this problem will say things like, “it’s easier to just keep up with the dishes”, “how difficult is it to put things back where they belong”, “you just make more work for yourself when you don’t stay ahead of the clutter.”
Here’s my response to these statements: When my depression is present or my mental health is not where it needs to be, ALL of my mental and physical energy is going towards managing my depression and trying my hardest to not slip further down that hole and to just get through each day completing what needs to be done. There is no extra energy left for putting my shoes in the closet, loading the dishwasher, folding and putting away the laundry or going through the mail. I use all my energy to make sure I eat, take a shower, and go to work so I can pay my bills. Clutter will begin to pile up. Thankfully, between medication and the strategies I use to manage my depression, I usually bounce back from difficult days pretty quickly.
Even on the days that I am feeling great, I often exert so much energy maintaining my feelings of joy and happiness, that I just don’t have the energy to keep up with the day to day activities that keep the clutter under control. For me, my mental health is a priority over almost everything else. If my mental health isn’t well, then I’m no good for anyone or anything. People who don’t live with depression or anxiety or any mental illness simply don’t understand this. I have been called lazy, passive aggressive and a slob because my space is often cluttered and messy.
Take the time to ask questions of a family member or friend that seems to be messy and you know also lives with depression. Ask them if you can straighten up for them or help do their dishes. If your child is messy, first think about what they might be dealing with on a day to day basis. For some of us, it can take a lot of energy to just get through the day and we are left with little to no energy to do anything extra. And yes, it is just easier to kick off those shoes at the door than to put them in the closet. Anything that requires and extra step can seem very daunting.
To be quite honest, clutter doesn’t bother me or make me depressed. I think it’s just become part of my life most days and I’m ok with that because most days my depression is very much under control. For me, and many others I’ve spoken to about this subject, it’s not the clutter that causes depression. It is the depression that causes the clutter.
My biggest tip to prevent too much clutter if depression can be a struggle for you? Simplify!! The less stuff you have, the less clutter can accumulate. The smaller space you live in, the less stuff you can bring in that can become clutter. Plus, it is easier and quicker to clean up when you have the energy to catch up. You won’t waste so much energy that can be used towards your mental health when you have a smaller space to keep neat. Simplifying my life has been one of the greatest strategies I’ve ever implemented for my depression. The overwhelm is just so much less!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you thing it’s clutter that is causing your depression to be worse or is it your depression(and the management of it) that causes the clutter in your life?
I hope you caught my latest Youtube video! I talk about how preparing for my depression is a lot like preparing for a big race. It’s a lot like training. We have to keep our bodies and minds strong and healthy in the “off season” so when we have to battle our depression, we are strong, healthy and properly prepared. I discuss how watching my son train for his current cross country season made me realize that how I approach my mental health has many similarities.
If you haven’t watched it yet, you can watch it below or go to my YouTube channel HERE. Please subscribe and leave a comment! I want to be able to serve you better!
I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your thoughts. What are the key strategies you use? And, if you don’t have any, go grab my Depression Survival Guide I created. I just made it FREE for you to access. You can grab it on my PRODUCTS page of this website.
I hope you have an amazing week. Remember, we are stronger together. Let’s end the stigma of mental illness.
Mental Health vs Mental Illness: Is there a difference? I think so!
If you don’t feel like reading this blog post, you can hop on over to my YouTube channel HERE and listen to what I have to say about Mental Health vs Mental Illness. Since I tend to talk “off script†it will vary but the main point will be the same. I like to give people options! LOLÂ
The term Mental Health is a term we are beginning to hear more frequently than we did just a few years ago. Hopefully, this is the beginning of more acceptance and less stigma.
But what is the difference between mental health and mental illness? Is there a difference? Can these terms be used interchangeably? I wanted to take a few minutes today to help others clarify these questions.
When Simone Biles stepped down from competition stating mental health reasons, the comments on social media began to fly all around. Some supported her decision. Others felt she was “letting her country down.†One comment I say that really made me stop in my tracks was from an individual who lives with mental illness and was concerned that the use of the term “mental health†is starting to get thrown around too much and will begin to minimize the seriousness of mental illness.
So, I thought I would take some time to differentiate between the two and why I feel that talking more and more about our mental health will eventually lead to more acceptance and compassion towards mental illness.
What is Mental Health?
According to www.mentalhealth.gov,  mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.
We ALL have mental health just like we all have physical health. Sometimes we begin to battle physically illness and we get better and sometimes people begin to battle mental illness and get better. It is just a quick, one time episode possibly due to life circumstance such as a death of a loved one, hormonal changes or another situation that led to depression or anxiety that you needed to get some extra support and professional help.
For some of us though, our physical illness or our mental illness become chronic and becomes something we have to learn how to live with, learn how to manage and eventually learn how to thrive to be our best despite our illness.
For example, when we have a physical illness such as a cold, a stomach virus or some other physical illness, it tends to be over in a few days or a week and we move on with our life. Rather than when we are diagnosed with a chronic physical illness such as Multiple Sclerosis, Lupas, Cron’s Disease or another physical illness, we need to learn how to manage our illness, find what treatments work and often rearrange our life in order to keep ourselves physically well.
The same thing is true with mental illness. While we all have mental health, we don’t all develop a mental illness. However, many of us do. For some of us, that bought with mental illness many be quick and fleeting. It could be a situation you are in that is causing you to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety, but once you get to the other side of it, you are able to move on with your life.
However, some of us will develop a chronic mental illness. Maybe we live daily with depression, anxiety, bipolar or another mental illness. This illness could develop from our genetics, our environment, past trauma or other reasons that lead us down this road. Let’s take a closer look at the definition of mental illness.
What does Mental Illness mean?Â
According to the American Psychiatric Association, “Mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in emotion, thinking or behavior (or a combination of these). Mental illnesses are associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities.â€
The APA also stresses that Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a medical problem, just like heart disease or diabetes.
Below are some stats on the prevalence of mental illness in our society according to the American Psychiatric Association.
Mental illness is common. According to the American Psychiatric Association, in a given year:
nearly one in five (19 percent) U.S. adults experience some form of mental illness
one in 24 (4.1 percent) has a serious mental illness*
one in 12 (8.5 percent) has a diagnosable substance use disorder
I know statistics and numbers can be boring, but I feel that they are important in order for all of us to see the big picture.
The good news is Mental illness is treatable. The majority of us who live with mental illness can continue to function in our daily lives. Sure, there are those who are severely ill and have trouble with the day-to-day life tasks. The same goes for most physical illnesses. With either, we need to understand what helps us, what doesn’t and how to best manage our symptoms so that we can function to out highest level.
As with any chronic physical illness, when you live with mental illness there are steps you can take in order to better manage your mental illness. Just as someone with Lupus needs to avoid the sun or an individual with diabetes needs to monitor their sugars and avoid things like candy bars, etc., when you live with mental illness, you will need to learn all you can and discover the techniques and strategies that work best for you.
For example, one thing that I have discovered over the years that really helps me manage my depression is what I eat and regular exercise. These are 2 activities I do my best to do daily. It’s important for us to take the time to figure out what helps us to thrive and not just survive.
So, when Simone needed to step away from competition during the Olympics and stated mental health reasons, what she was doing was listening to her mind and body. She was respecting and honoring the trauma she’s lived through and her PTSD from the trauma. She was keeping herself healthy and strong in order to live fully another day.
My hope is that one day soon, we will all have the empathy and understanding of mental health and mental illness as we do towards physical health and physical illness. They both need to be treated with the same level of respect. Let’s keep talking. Let’s keep sharing. We are stronger together.
Grab your FREE 10 Day Journal For Depression HERE on my Products Page.
